All I Want For Christmas
by LeatitiaVia
Summary: Lily wasnt's something for Christmas, and so does James. Do they want two different things or the exact same thing?


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All I Want For Christmas

Who ever said Christmas should be a time of happiness and joy? Whoever he was I hope he's dead and buried. Who in their right mind would say that Christmas was _fun?_

Well probably not someone with my life. Everyday I live in fear for my family and friends. Even for people I don't even know! These days it's the worse 'cos these are the days we should all value the people close to us.

Yet this thought has only been plaguing my thoughts for the grand total of 30 seconds.

The gloominess, of the state of my life, hit me full blast since the moment I came into 'The Three Broomsticks' and was attacked by carol singing from almost every direction. Fortunately there was a table in the furthest corner of the pub, which seemed very cozy and most of all devoid of stupid songs

Unfortunately as soon as I sat down another bunch of forth year singing freaks appeared out of nowhere and as soon as they sat down in the table next to me they lost no time in beginning to sing

You see thins is just my luck! I finally find a quiet place in which I can wallow in self-pity along with self-loathing, once again shouting at myself for being so stupid and blind, and I am tormented by carol freaks!

I mean he'd been _there! _Right next to me! And I still hadn't seen him. I mean I did, I just didn't acknowledge him. Well I did, but not in a good way.

Not that he didn't deserve it, because he did. Most of the time anyway. This year, although he hadn't deserved my screams and shouts he still got them. As I think about it now, I probably feared his change. I didn't want him to change because he used to be so pure and so innocent, well a childlike pureness and innocence, and if out of everyone, James Potter would change into something so solemn then there was no hope for any of us

Sure there was Sirius Black, but his attitude was more vengeful and sarcastic, in contrast to his best friend. Many things had happened to him, little of which I know of, but never the less it turned him into who he is. The only real fun seeking person left in school was James Potter.

This changed this year. Although James had still maintained his high-spirited attitude most of the time, he had lost his innocence. He grew up

When he came back to school this year, I was, needless to say, very surprised to find out that I would be working with him as Heads. As the time moved on I could see the difference in him and I cant tell you that I didn't like it, because I did. I just missed the sparkle in his eye when he was setting up a prank, his sarcastic comebacks, and his mischievous smile

But alas, he grew up and I refused to accept it.

I must say that at the beginning I was mostly disappointed in his change as I had always been able to count on him to make me smile with any one of his attics no matter how down I felt

I guess you see where I'm going with this right?

With the absence of his wit and smiles I began to reminisce about past years and became very nostalgic. I began feeling resentment for no reason towards him

I couldn't stand being in the same room as him, seeing his haunted eyes throughout the meetings we were supposed to hold or even through our classes, which were coincidentally exactly the same

We've never exactly been close, understatement really, we've never been close period. We've only shared a few brief comments, excluding the preparations for our meetings

He had always been a mystery to me and I've always been intrigued by him, but I guess I was scared in what I would be finding. I always thought that I would never like what I would find. But that was last year, now I _finally _see that I wasn't scared in what I was going to find, but how I would react to what I would find

Brianna, my best friend, always thought I had a "thing' for him, but I never did agree. Maybe if I had faced up to my feelings back then, I wouldn't be living my personal teenage angst soap opera.

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas"_

Oh, God! The only song that would ever make matters worse for me. I am officially cursed. I blame Christmas!

The only year I decide to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays and there is no one to spend it with except James, but that doesn't count as we don't spend any time together. All my friends are home with their families, while mine are in some place or other, where it's nice and warm

So it's been a lonely Christmas for me

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"I don't care about the presents"

I did get my fair share of presents from those close to me, but there was one missing. The one I wanted more that anything these days

Of course I was being ridiculous. Why I thought that I would get anything from him I don't know. I had been a right bitch to him throughout the year. Shouting at him for absolutely nothing, throwing him snide comments, flirted with other guys in front of him.

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"I just want you for my own" 

I should probably mention something else that plays an even bigger part in why I was acting so stupid around him. Ever since 3rd grade, where he bore witness to my prank on his best friend, he seemed to have grown fond of me, shall I say?

Now that changed as well!

He didn't flirt with me, try to get a date from me or even catch my eye

I guess that's what upset me the most. I would always be able to count on his affections to help me when I needed it. But now….

I can't

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"Make my wish come true"

I have no clue where I stand with him. Does he still like me? If not then since when? Why do I care?

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"All I want for Christmas"

But I guess you and I both know why

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"Is you"

"Oh, shut up already will you? Christmas was two days ago! Can you stop with the fucking songs already?" I hissed finally looking up in their direction

Unfortunately they didn't hear me

Even more so unfortunate someone else did

"What's wrong Evans? Didn't get what you wanted from Santa?" his voice came out smoothly as he stared down at me, and for the first time in a four months, I saw his eyes sparkle. I forgot to breathe

This must be the worse day of my life because do you know what he did? He sat down. And do you know what I did to stop him? Nothing, nada, zilch

He looked at me penetratingly, probably wondering why I was being so weird. I shook my head slightly

"What do you want James?" I asked him, trying to find a way to end this meeting as soon as possible. I really didn't feel like making my day worse than what it already was

"I just thought that we could spend this lovely day together. I was lonely up in the castle and I was looking for company. I seemed to have run into the best company at the moment" he smiled, and I blushed

"Shut up. What did you really want" I repeated

"I mean it Lily, I want nothing else but the pleasure of your company. Consider it as my Christmas present" he answered

"And what would be mine?" I retaliated crossing my arms across my chest

"Oh I could think of a few things" he smirked, raising his eyebrow suggestively

I almost choked on my own spit. What the hell was happening? This wasn't James Potter that I now know! What the hell is he playing at?

"What the hell is the matter with you Potter? You've been sober all year" I breathed more to myself than to him, but he heard me and he smiled. I could have sworn I drooled. What was the matter with me?

"Well I think its about time I have some fun, don't you Lil?" he asked me sincerely

Oh, no you don't! He knew! Somehow he found out that I preferred him like he was. There was no other explanation. I was now officially on to him

"True" I smiled mischievously. Now it was his turn to choke. He actually almost fell off his chair. I almost laughed out loud and he almost glared at me. In the mean time, the stupid carolers continued on with their stupid songs

"So what is it that Father Christmas forgot to give you that's made you so hostile?" he asked, trying to take the attention off him. As if!

"As if I'm going to tell _you_, James, dear" I answered challenging. Still smiling he sat back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head

"That's a pity, Lily, darling" he said. I tried to ignore how the little endearment made me feel

"Isn't it?" I smirked, "You, Jamesie?" I chuckled when I saw him cringe at his pet name

"What about me Lilikins?" touché. He got me there. I hated that name and boy, did he know that

"Did you get all that you wanted for Christmas?" I asked him. Again he leaned closer, resting his hands on the table and looked straight at me. Again my heart beating faster, pumping more blood around my body than I knew what to do with

"I'm working on it" was all he said. This interested me. What did he mean?

"What's that supposed to mean? Christmas passed, you cant get presents after that" I told him

"It's worth a try though" stroke back. What was he up to?

"And what do you want for Christmas, James, honey, that you don't already have?" I knew I was pushing it, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know if he felt anything for me

He looked at me and opened his mouth as if to answer but then shut, changing his mind. I wasn't about to lose this.

"Oh, come on, Potter. If you tell me, I'll tell you" I negotiated. At this he raised an eyebrow and smirked

"Oh, I know you will. The trouble is, I don't know if it's worth it, my sweet" he smirked again

"Well we're going to have to see about that, wont we?" what else was I supposed to say? I was desperate

"I don't think so, Lily" he said seriously

"Oh, come on, James, don't be such a baby. It cant be that big" I tried the indifferent technique

"Yea, you would think so wouldn't you?" he threw at me. I knew I had crossed the line. I knew it might effect him a bit. But I didn't know it would come hit me right in the face. My surprise must have shown because he started to apologize

"Lily, I-" but I cut him off

"No James its ok, you're right. I have no right. Listen I have to go ok?" I didn't wait for his answer as I stood up and began walking away. As I was walking past him he caught my hand.

"Lily, please, I'm sorry, I-" he started again but I cut him off. Again

"You shouldn't really. I deserved it. I crossed the line and I apologize" I whispered, freeing my hand and making my way quickly to the door, on my way cursing the singers even more as they sang other love/Christmas carols

As soon as I stepped outside I was hit with a gasp of cold weather. Wonderful time to remember my cloak, which I forgot in the castle. I pulled my cardigan tighter around me as I began walking

"Lily!" I heard him call after me. My heart stopped, but my feet didn't do the same thing. In fact they went faster

"Lily, please wait," he begged me. At this I stopped. I'm telling you, my legs, heart, and mouth have a mind of their own. I turned around and watched him as he made the final steps closer to me. He looked absolutely staggering with all the snow around him

He stopped right in front of me, breathing heavily from running to me. He smiled, pleased to see that I stopped, and I couldn't help but smile back

Suddenly there was something white falling between us and we simultaneously looked up. It was snowing

"Where's your cloak," he asked me worriedly

"On the chair, in my room" I admitted, smiling at my stupidity. He smiled as well, making me realize I didn't need my cloak

"You" he whispered in my ear about five seconds later. What the-?

I looked up at him questioningly but all he did was smile

"All I wanted for Christmas was you" he repeated. My heart stopped beating for the longest time.

I must have began to tremble because he wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my beg reverently, thinking that I was cold. We stayed like that for a few moments. But all too soon, he let go and I was colder than ever

"But, I thought that you were over me" I stammered looking at the ground, but stealing a few glances to his face. He smiled

"Well I'm not," he whispered following the direction of my eyes to the ground. I couldn't help but glow

"So.. what did you want for Christmas?" he spoke, taking me by surprise, I blinked stupidly

"What did you want for Christmas. I told you what I wanted. You promised to tell me if I told you" he explained, with a nervous smile, still trying to avert his eyes

"Time actually" I answered. His eyes darted right into mine

"What?" he asked shocked

"Time" I said in a matter of fact tone. His hand that was rested on my waist instantly fell to his side

"Yes, I heard that Lily. But you cant be serious" he replied with a tremble in his voice. I almost laughed out loud, if I hadn't known that it would make matters worse

"Oh, but I am" I tried to explain. I could see in his eyes the pain that he felt with my words, but he had to understand what I meant.

I mean I spent _all _my free time thinking about him. Whenever I was alone, or even with friends, as soon as I left class, during class, before, during and after I ate, every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day and of every night.

And frankly it was driving me _insane_!

I looked up at him, only to see him frowning and turning to leave

"James, wait." I tried to stop him but he didn't hear. I caught his arm but he snatched it back

"No, never mind, Lily" he whispered dejectedly without turning to face me

I watched him walk away, taking my heart with him. When he was about 15 feet away something snapped inside of me

"I wished for time because I waste too much of it thinking about you!" I shouted, and begged the Christmas spirit to make him stop. The snow was by now steadily falling, making me steadily cold

He stopped and turned around so fast that I wondered if he broke his neck

"What?" he asked loudly, pretending to be deaf, but the smile on his lips betrayed him. I smiled broadly

"What I wanted for Christmas, was extra time, because I was wasting all the time that I was given in thinking about you. I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't study, eat or focus on anything else" I shouted over the ferocious wind that was building up

He didn't need anything else as he ran towards me, capturing me in his arms lifting me up and spun me around. All the while looking me in the eyes. As he set me down he placed his lips on mine.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked me when he drew back a few seconds later. All I could do was smile and nod. The feeling of his lips mesmerized me and I wanted to it again

He smiled even more and when he bent down to kiss me once more, I forgot about everything around us. The wind, the cold and the falling snow

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A/N I know, I know, I know. I couldn't help it! The best way to get rid of temptation is give into it, and I really wanted to write a Christmas story, and I swear that I will have another chapter for The Meeting Of Fate by the end of the week! I swear! But for now, I hope you all liked this little fic as a present from me for Christmas. I hope you all had a magical day and you all got what you wanted. Love you all xXx


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